Dawn of a New Day
by coldestmilk
Summary: Ryan vows never to open his heart again, especially after what happened with Marissa. Without trust there can be no love and Ryan's hardly willing to let somone in again. But what happens when he meets Sam?
1. Defeat

Life just wasn't fair. First, it was my mother choosing her jerk of a boyfriend over me and then her abandoning me yet again. Now, my girlfriend, the one girl I thought I could trust chose some guy she barely knew over me. I tried to warn her. I tried to save her. I loved her. So much so that I did everything in my power to save her from his grasp.  
  
But a darkness stronger than love took over her every being. She believed Oliver. And soon, jealously drove Oliver mad, to the extent where he killed himself and put even put Marissa's life at risk. He loved her enough to kill. Ironic, seeing as how Oliver claimed he loved Marissa so much, but yet, who in their right mind would put the person the love at risk? Then again, he wasn't exactly in a right mind now was he?  
  
Then it happened. Just as I knew it would. She tried to come back to me. She tried to have things go back to the way they were. But would I let her? No. I can't risk that again. Didn't she understand that things could never be the same? I opened up my heart once and I got burned, big time. I'm not willing to make that mistake again.  
  
The one person I trusted with my heart betrayed me. She was the first person I ever said those three words to. I'd never heard them before. My mother, although she tried, couldn't love me the way a mother should love her child. She had too much crap going on in her own life to deal with me. My dad, I hardly knew him. And my brother, he was too busy getting stoned to give a shit about me.  
  
But Marissa, she loved me. And I loved her, more than anything in the world. Yet she didn't see that. All she saw was my inability to deal with her having another male friend. It's not my fault I'm protective. I mean it's that whole alpha-male gene. It's the whole male-protector side that all guys have that kicks in once I see her being threatened in any way. Trey taught me to keep everything that was mine close to me so I'd never lose it. Maybe I kept Marissa too close. Maybe I should have just let her do whatever she wanted. Maybe it's my fault I lost her.  
  
Trey was right. I'd never fit in here. This world's too different. Marissa, we are from two different worlds. And right now, I can't deal with having a relationship with you. My heart won't be opened again. Not for a long time. I can't take that risk. 


	2. The Date from Hell

Chapter 2 – The Date from Hell  
  
It was yet another day at Harbor High and once more, Ryan had no real intentions of going to school. Everything seemed to be so pointless after his official break-up with Marissa. Unplanned meetings in the hallways were awkward and let's just say the whole Summer-Seth new blossoming relationship thing didn't help either. Summer was Marissa's best friend and Summer was also Seth's girlfriend, and Seth was Ryan's best friend, so as you can see, they were all thrust into the same social circle unintentionally.  
  
During classes, Ryan would try to avoid sitting beside or near Marissa as often as possible, and sometimes Ryan would catch her stealing fleeting glances his way. Ryan didn't try to encourage her and give her false hope in reviving their relationship. Instead, he simply gave a curt nod or quickly immersed himself in the lovely color of those...purple curtains. Seth of course noticed Ryan's change in demeanor and tried on many occasions to try and help him. Like this one time...  
  
Monday Morning – 7:56am  
  
The fresh smell of coffee in the air greeted Ryan as he entered the kitchen. After a restless night, coffee was definitely on his radar. Seth was sitting at the table, comic book in hand and eating his daily cereal. He looked up from his Legion comic book and greeted Ryan,  
  
"Morning, man. How'd you sleep last night?"  
  
"Okay, I guess," Ryan replied unconvincingly.  
  
"Come on, dude, I know you're lying. I mean come on your ears are burning." Seth quipped.  
  
"What?! How can my ears be burning? It's not like a lit a match in there to see or anything." Ryan answered.  
  
"Dude, calm down, it's like a joke? Remember when people go 'Ha Ha' after I say something funny?" Seth said.  
  
"Funny...right. Hey man, how are we going to get to school this morning?" Ryan asked.  
  
"Oh, my mom said we could take the Rover since she's staying in today to avoid the 1st official horror of the world." Seth said.  
  
"Julie Cooper?" Ryan questioned.  
  
"The one and only." Seth replied. There was an awkward silence as Seth thought about whether or not he should ask Ryan the inevitable question, "Hey man, listen, I'm really sorry about Marissa and stuff, I mean I know it's been really hard on you, but I really think it's time for you to you know, start moving on. I mean I know it's hard, but at least give it a shot. I mean there's this one girl..."  
  
"-Seth, no. I appreciate the offer but I'm not looking to start another relationship right now or rather, anytime soon." Ryan quickly stifled any of Seth's hopes that he would move on. But Seth was not one to give up easily.  
  
"Come on man, I mean she's really nice and I think she'd be great for you to talk to. She just got out of a similar relationship, or so she says, so you guys can like brood together over your failed, I mean, no longer existing relationships..."  
  
Ryan just gave Seth one of his infamous "Ryan" looks while continuing to sip his coffee. Seth knew that this was a desperate time where he had to resort to a desperate measure, so he started... "Ryan, come on man, you owe me. Please. Please. Please. Please."  
  
"No."  
  
"Please. Please. Please. Please. Please."  
  
"No."  
  
"Please. Please. Please. Please. Please."  
  
"No."  
  
"Please. Please. Please. Please. Please."  
  
"FINE! I'll go on ONE date with this girl and just remember, I'm not looking for anything more than just having a dinner not cooked by Kirsten. Do we have a deal, Seth?" Ryan questioned suspiciously.  
  
"Definitely man, and hey, you know that guy Brett, your sort of friend that you know from soccer, well he likes one of Kelly, oh that by the way is your date for...tonight...well Brett, he likes one of Kelly's friends and she likes him so maybe you guys could double-date or something, to reduce the awkwardness." Seth said.  
  
"Tonight?! I have a date for tonight? And when were you planning on telling me this? Anytime soon?" Ryan asked completely baffled by the newly found information of his having a date tonight.  
  
"Well, you see, I was going to tell you...hey, would you look at that, it's time to leave for school. Well, wouldn't want to be late for class, you know how I hate to miss Spanish class and everything, and well I'm sure you're just as eager to attend your favorite class of...Comparative Literature...dude, your blocks suck."  
  
Tuesday Morning – 7:34 am  
The morning after Ryan's date with Kelly, Ryan came in looking extremely haggard. Seth, as usual was his perky morning self happily enjoying his comic book, but eagerly waiting to hear from Ryan how the previous night went. So Seth bravely questioned Ryan, "So man, you know, how was, you know, last night? Was it any fun? Is Kelly in the pool house right now? Wasn't I right? Didn't I tell you she was awesome? Oh man, I am the man..."  
  
"Seth – shut up man." Ryan quickly tried to quiet his rambling friend.  
  
"So...aren't you going to thank me for an incredible night with an angel that you had last evening...and maybe even this morning?" Seth slyly questioned.  
  
"No. The date was an absolute nightmare. Everything was horrible, even the way I dropped her off at home was horrible." Ryan answered.  
  
"What? Horrible? Nightmare? All used to describe a night yours truly set you up with an angel? What is happening to this world?!" Seth replied flabbergasted that his master plan had backfired. "What happened? I mean, obviously she wasn't lacking in the looks department."  
  
"No, no, she wasn't. But she was lacking in the everything else besides look department. Why don't I shortly summarize my lovely evening for you? First, I met her and her friend Janice at the restaurant and all was well. I mean she looked pretty good, the food was good, everything seemed to be going well. So then, I asked a question I'll regret for the rest of my life..." Ryan trailed off.  
  
"Come on man, don't leave me hanging, what was the question?" Seth eagerly asked.  
  
"So, tell me a little bit about yourself, will you?" Ryan shuddered at the very thought of that question.  
  
"That was your question? That was the question you'll regret? Are you serious? I thought it was going to be something like, 'So are you sure you're a girl?' or something along those lines." Seth replied plainly.  
  
"No, man. You don't understand. She just wouldn't shut up from then on. Seriously, it was like her telling her life story. She decided to mention the tooth she ever lost and how she kept it in her wallet as a keepsake. She's also got her first bandage inside her bag, which she offered to show me but I tried as politely as I could to refuse that offer. And then she started acting all 'I am holier than thou' when I told her I actually came from Chino. Then of course, when Brett arrived she got even bitchier."  
  
"Really? What'd she do when good old Brett got there?"  
  
"At first there were the introductions, clear sailing thus far, but all of a sudden out of no where, in a very matter of fact way, she stated to Brett: 'Wow, your eyes are so pretty, they're just like a girls eyes...' And you know how Brett's kind of this guy who easily offends other people especially when he's being challenged?"  
  
"Definitely, I've been a recipient of his oh-so-painful 'Shut up queer' burns many a time."  
  
"Well, you wouldn't believe how he responded to her. After she said that he kind of looked at her for a while and then he said..."  
  
"Come on man, just say it."  
  
"Brett said to Kelly, "Wow, would you look at that, you kind of have a guys' chest." Ryan replied trying as best he could to not laugh out loud while telling Seth. Seth however had much less restraint and immediately started laughing until tears almost came out of his eyes.  
  
"He said that to her? Haha! Man, maybe I'll have to reconsider his whole 'jock' status. I mean to come back with a burn like that, that takes mind power my friend." Seth said in between chuckles. "So what happened when you dropped her off?"  
  
"She sort of fell..."  
  
"Out of the car?"  
  
"No! She fell down while getting out of the car after I dropped her off. She was so hissy about what Brett had said to her earlier and all the while back she just kept saying, 'My chest is big! I'm voluptuous!' and all the while I just kept nodding my head along pretending to agree when I really had no interest in how big her chest was, or rather, the lack of it. So when she was getting out, I guess she forgot that our car was a bit higher up from the ground and she sort of took a tumble. I tried to help her but she just complained about how horrible Brett was so I gave up."  
  
"Haha! Dude, that sounds like a really great date. I mean, who knows? Maybe next time you'll have a date that dresses up in drags and pretends she's the reincarnated spirit of Elvis. That actually happened, I read it somewhere on the net. Funny, really when you think about it, just like your date from hell."  
  
"Well, it doesn't matter because now you know that I'm definitely not ready for the dating field anytime soon and certainly not if more girls like Kelly are out there. So just drop it alright? I appreciate the offer and everything but after this date from hell, I don't think I can handle another one." Ryan stated.  
  
"Yea, well we had better be getting to school. We've got first block English together so we'll talk more about this date from hell. I have a feeling there's more to it than what you've told me."  
  
And with that, the boys were off to school. Even in homeroom, Seth was chuckling every so often to himself as he reminisced about the abject look of horror on Kelly's face when Brett burned her big time. And of course, Ryan was being his usual brooding self, until all of a sudden, someone caught his eye. 


	3. The Start of Something Kind of Wonderful

Chapter 3 – The Start of Something Kind of Wonderful  
  
There she was. An absolute angel had entered into his English class. Deep brown eyes and her dark hair cascading gently down her shoulder blades, and a shy but beautiful smile adorned her stunning face. Seth had noticed her too, but more importantly, he noticed Ryan's look of absolute adoration for this girl and couldn't help but smirk. Ryan, however, was too mesmerized by this girl to take any notice of the outside world. Ryan had vowed to himself that he would not let another girl in easily, but he couldn't help but be in absolute awe of this girl. And it took all of his strength to take his eyes off her when his English teacher impatiently rapped his desk with his knuckles saying,  
  
"Ladies and gentlemen, we have a new addition into Harbor High and it is with great pleasure that I introduce to you Samantha Donahue. So, if you would like to take that empty seat next to Mr. Atwood Samantha, we could begin. Mr. Atwood, please raise your hand so Samantha knows where to sit."  
  
Ryan could not believe his luck. Out of all the places Mr. Calloway could have chosen for Samantha to sit, he gave her the empty seat beside his. His hand went up into the air nervously, almost afraid that if he raised his hand too quickly, he would come off as being desperate, so he kept thinking to himself, 'Raise your hand up coolly Atwood, coolly.' It took him only a second to realize how stupid he sounded and instead calmly (as calm as he could be) directed Samantha to her designated seat.  
  
Upon sitting, Samantha looked over at Ryan and gave him a shy smile and quickly immersed herself with the textbook. Ryan simply stared at her for a good minute before Seth elbowed him and whispered,  
  
"Dude, getting detention in front of the new girl for not paying attention is not suave." Ryan finally snapped back to his senses and for the rest of the class tried to pay attention. This time, it wasn't Marissa that was stealing fleeting glances his way; it was Ryan stealing fleeting glances towards Samantha's way.  
  
Although Samantha didn't notice Ryan's quick glimpses at her, Marissa certainly did. Marissa noticed the look in Ryan's eyes that used to be reserved for her only, and the first emotion that ran through her blood was jealousy. Jealousy that engulfed her for the rest of the block and every time Ryan looked Samantha's way, Marissa couldn't help but feel as if her heart was ripped into shreds just a little bit more than before. But deep in her heart, she knew that it was her fault she was no longer with Ryan. It was her choice to believe in Oliver that led to their consequent break- up and it was her fault that led to both of their hearts being broken.  
  
Throughout the hour, Seth kept whispering to Ryan to introduce himself to the new girl. Ryan immediately dismissed that idea saying that he had no reason to do such a thing, to which Seth cheekily replied,  
  
"Well I guess that's true, seeing as how you give those puppy-dog eyes to every single female that just so happens to pass your way...hey, I wonder, what if Julie Cooper were to pass you by. Would you give her those looks of adoration?"  
  
Ryan just glared at Seth, but Seth was not one to give up easily and kept pestering Ryan to go and introduce himself. Seth finally got Ryan's attention by saying,  
  
"Hey man, it looks like you're not the only one smitten with Samantha. Look at Brad, man, he looks like he's going in for the kill soon. I mean I know you're like more of a ladies man than I am, but competing with Brad for Samantha's heart will be fun, won't it? Okay, now that was just weird, dude, did he just lick his lips after winking at Samantha? Because if I were her, I'd be just a little freaked out right now..."  
  
Ryan immediately looked over at Brad who did indeed have a look of a predator locating its prey on Samantha and Ryan instantly felt shockwaves of jealousy run through his veins. Seth could have sworn that he saw the hair on Ryan's neck stand straight as Ryan's breathing began to quicken. After much deliberation, Ryan said,  
  
"I'm going to introduce myself after class and definitely before that asshole gets to her."  
  
"Listen to the master Ryan, listen to the master, he, and by he I mean I, knows all," Seth said.  
  
When the bell finally rang, Ryan almost jumped out of his seat and in effect, clumsily knocked over his stool. His face turned beet red, as Samantha glanced at him with a look of concern on her face. She shyly said,  
  
"Are you alright?"  
  
Ryan, embarrassed beyond imagination, couldn't believe that Samantha still wanted to talk to him after his 'oh-so-cool' exit, and just blurted,  
  
"Oh, yea, I'm fine, I don't know what happened. One minute the chair was there. The next minute, not there. You know how it happens. Chair there, chair not there. And now I'm finished rambling. By the way, I'm Ryan Atwood."  
  
Samantha giggled at Ryan's nervousness, and offered,  
  
"I'm Samantha, but please, call me Sam, and it's very nice meeting you Ryan."  
  
"Pleasure is mine," assured Ryan.  
  
"Well, aren't we a very gentlemanly person?" replied Sam.  
  
"Well, then I would think it would only be gentlemanly of me to offer you my assistance to leading you to your next class. Mind if I take a look at your schedule?" asked Ryan.  
  
"Certainly, I had worried that I'd get lost going to my next block, but now that I seem to have my own personal chauffeur guiding me around school, I can't see where I'd go wrong," Sam said.  
  
Ryan laughed at her calling him her personal chauffeur, and while looking at her schedule, noticed that they had all but one course together. He couldn't help but smile to himself when he realized that he was going to be spending a lot more time with Sam and she noticed him smiling to himself and couldn't help but ask,  
  
"So, are we going to get to our next class or are you just going to smile all day long? Not that I'm complaining, I mean smiling is nice, but shall we?"  
  
Ryan quickly looked over at her and replied, "Right this way."  
  
During Lunch – 12:15  
  
Seth and Summer had gone out for lunch by the bard, so Ryan was left with time to get better acquainted with Sam. And every single minute that Ryan spent with Sam, he became more intrigued by her and more drawn to her than ever. He of course asked the basics, such as, "Where are you from?" To which she replied,  
  
"I'm actually from Ottawa, my dad transferred here just recently and well I can't say I was too thrilled about leaving Ottawa. I mean I was born and raised there so to be completely uprooted and move so far west wasn't exactly my idea of fun. I mean now that I'm here, it's a great place to be, the weather's great, all of my neighbors are ridiculously loaded and Harbor seems like an okay place to be, but I still miss my friends from Ottawa a lot. Have you lived here your whole life?"  
  
Ryan shifted nervously in his seat before answering,  
  
"Actually, no, I was born and raised in Chino for most of my life. Not exactly the cream of the crop area to be brought up in, but it was home. I just recently came over, when Sandy and Kirsten Cohen took me in. The guy I was sitting next to in English, is Seth Cohen, he's their son, so technically, he's sort of my brother-type person now."  
  
Sam sensed that there was more to the story than what Ryan had told her, but kept those thoughts to herself as she realized she had no right to question him further and just accepted what he told her. Ryan also sensed certain awkwardness after revealing his past "home" to her and quickly asked,  
  
"So what do you like? You know like stuff-wise?"  
  
Sam looked at him and couldn't help but giggle and replied,  
  
"Stuff wise? As in what I like to do? Well, first off, I absolutely love music. Nirvana, The Strokes, The Foo Fighters, Rooney, all that stuff. I love the usual girl stuff, hanging out, shopping, going to the beach to look for hot guys (to which Ryan effectively raised his eyebrow). And of course, I love hockey. I know you Americans aren't as gung-ho about hockey, but I love my Senators. Havlat, Lalime, Bonk, what a team. And I play a bit of volleyball here and there. So what about you? What do you like...stuff- wise?"  
  
Ryan looked at her and thought to himself for a moment before answering, "Music-wise I'm not that picky, I like a bit of everything, unless it's like I don't know, the Spice Girls," (shudder) to which Sam laughed upon seeing his reaction. "I guess sports-wise, I'm a soccer fanatic. I know it's not that big here in the States either, but I love the game and you have to love Real Madrid. What a team. I can honestly say though I've never been a big fan of volleyball. I mean it's like a sport where there's rarely contact, but hey, I'm all for the skimpy uniforms. I mean I may be biased, but I think they're pretty cool."  
  
They both laughed, but not before Sam got a good whack at his shoulder exclaiming,  
  
"Men. All in it for the same thing. The fact that they get to watch the girls wearing their skimpy, I think that was your word, uniforms."  
  
Ryan quickly tried to defend himself laughing as he said, "Hey now, you can't go blaming me for having the Y chromosome now can you?"  
  
And for the rest of the lunch hour, they bantered back and forth, switching jokes, poking fun at one another, laughing and just having a good time. For the first time in a long while, both of them were completely happy. And as much as Ryan hated to admit it, he was falling for Samantha Donahue and it seemed that there was nothing he could do to stop it. 


	4. Walk By the Pier

A/n: don't owe anything  
  
Read and review!  
  
Chapter 4 – Walk by the Pier  
  
After school finally ended that day, Ryan offered to drive Sam back home to which she graciously accepted. They had their last two blocks together, and Sam couldn't believe her luck in meeting such a wonderful guy on the very first day. She had expected in high part to be shunned by the rich stuck-up Newport snobs, but to meet someone as nice as Ryan? Now that definitely didn't happen every day. Especially not in a place like Newport. Her cousin who used to live in Newport had warned her many a time about how Newport had stuck up people who didn't accept newcomers into their community very easily.  
  
Ryan, on the other hand, could not believe that such a girl had come into his life. She was smart, sassy, and not to mention completely gorgeous. So as they drove to Sam's house, both of them had smiles playing on their faces, completely content with their present situation. When they arrived, Sam thanked Ryan for the ride and started to leave, but then Ryan mustering up his courage, asked,  
  
"Sam?"  
  
"Yeah, Ryan?" said Sam.  
  
"Well, you see, I know you're new and all to Newport, so I was wondering if maybe tomorrow, you know, after school and stuff, if you wanted me to give you a tour of Newport and stuff? I mean if you're busy then I totally understand and we can do it another time or if you don't want to then you know we could like just scratch that idea and stuff..." Ryan kept fidgeting with his hands as he rambled on nervously.  
  
Sam looked at him and couldn't help but smile at his nervousness, and replied,  
  
"I'd love it if you would show me around. So tomorrow after school then?" asked Sam.  
  
"Um..definitely...yeah. tomorrow after school," said Ryan.  
  
~~~  
  
When Ryan got home, he couldn't stop beaming and that effect was not lost upon Seth who immediately noticed the change in his normally somber friend. Seth couldn't resist asking the question and said,  
  
"So dude...saw you with Sam all day today. How goes it with your newest girlfriend? Back on the rebound very quickly my friend, I see. And hey I don't blame you, she's a pretty girl."  
  
"First off, she's not my girlfriend, and secondly, what would give you the idea that I'm on the rebound with Sam?" Ryan asked.  
  
"Well, the fact that I don't know that – what's that? A smile? Could it be true? A smile on Ryan Atwood's face again? Well dude, the fact that you're smiling again could only mean one thing – a new girl. And not just any new girl, a pretty new girl." Seth stated in a very matter of fact type of way. "So, how goes things with Sam?"  
  
"Not much as of yet, I mean she's a nice girl and everything, but I haven't really gotten to know her yet and I'm definitely not looking to rebound as you so kindly put it." Ryan told him.  
  
"And how come you're late coming home? I mean I got here quicker than you did and I got a ride from Summer. Summer, who drives so ridiculously slowly, I swear that turtle walking behind us gave the evil eye.  
  
"Well, seeing as you got a ride from Summer, I offered Sam a ride home. I mean she's new here and everything so I figured that it'd be nice to just make her as comfortable with her new surroundings as possible. Oh, and hey, tomorrow after school, I'm going to need the Rover man." Ryan stated.  
  
"What for?" asked Seth.  
  
"I'm showing Sam around Newport." And with that remark, Ryan went into the pool house leaving a shocked Seth sitting outside slowly digesting the newly information that Ryan was to take a girl out. Seth wanted to say something, but Ryan shut the door to the pool house, ending the barrage of questions from Seth. However, Seth couldn't help the smile growing on his face as he thought to himself "Seth Cohen, you are the man. Ryan has a date tomorrow and it's all because of you. Yes indeed, I am the man."  
  
~~~  
  
After school the following day...  
  
"Hey Ryan!" Sam called out from a few yards away.  
  
"Hey," Ryan replied with a wide grin on his face. "How was your last block?"  
  
"Art? That teacher is so out of it. What's her name? Mrs. McDouck? I mean does she even know anyone's name? She just kept pointing at random people and telling them to stop humming. And the thing is no one was humming. She also gave us this project portfolio which we're supposed to present next week, which is a complete bummer." Sam said.  
  
"Well, I'm sure it'll get better. And hey, art can't be that bad. I've been told I draw a mean stick man. So if you are ever in need of someone helping you draw a stick man, I'm the guy to call." Ryan humored.  
  
"Haha. Well, that's always good to know I have someone to fall back on in case you know, both of my hands fall off and I need to hand in a project the following day with stick men as the main piece." Sam bantered back.  
  
And so they both got into the Rover laughing about the day's events as Ryan took Sam to one the Crab Shack for an afternoon snack. After a bit, Ryan said,  
  
"Okay, we're here. This is the crab shack. A major hang-out spot for everyone from Newport. It's got great food, great looking waitresses, I mean there's hardly anything better." Ryan told her.  
  
"So then, what do you suggest?" asked Sam.  
  
And so they had a grab to bite and afterwards went for a walk on the beach while chatting and laughing with each another. Ryan couldn't help but be enthralled with this girl. They had only known each other for a few days, but yet they seemed to onlookers as if they had been friends for years, maybe even a couple. They talked easily with one another. Sam picked up on Ryan's sweetness and couldn't help but ask the one question that she'd be wondering ever since she first met him...  
  
"So, do you have a girlfriend? I mean come on, you're obviously a very nice guy, you're not too shabby looking and well you're sort of funny...at times...when you try really hard...okay, so you're not really that funny, but hey, it's the effort that counts," Sam said.  
  
"Wow, with qualities like that, what girl wouldn't want a guy like me? Rugged bad looks, my sense of humor – or rather the lack of it," Ryan sarcastically replied. "But in all seriousness, I just got out of a relationship with someone and well, it wasn't exactly a great way to end things and stuff." Ryan sadly said.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry I brought it up. I know it's none of my business but how come things ended? I mean you don't have to tell me if you don't want to, but it looks like maybe it'll help if you just let it out," Sam offered.  
  
"I trusted her with everything but she believed some guy she barely knew over me. And it sucked you know, because out of everyone I chose to trust, it was her but she didn't trust me. All my life I've had trust issues. My mom was never there, I barely know my father and my brother's too damn busy worrying about his own survival in prison to give a shit about me," Ryan softly said.  
  
All while talking, Ryan had this emotionless look on his face as he stared at the ocean. Sam couldn't help but pick up on the sad tone in his voice. For the first time ever in their short friendship, they weren't joking around anymore. Ryan's had this far-off look as he spoke of his past hurt. Sam looked and him and couldn't help but feel angry that some one could hurt Ryan. Even though they had only known each other for a few days, Ryan already had a special spot in her heart and it pained her to see him hurting. There were a few moments of silence as they both contemplated hard about what to say next. It was Ryan who finally broke the awkward silence with his counter-question of,  
  
"So how about you? Did you have a boyfriend back in Ottawa? Or even a secret boyfriend that I don't know about right now? I mean come on, a pretty girl like you, you must have had a boyfriend back in Ottawa. And if not then well I'm going to bet that you're eager to get into one here I mean with all the jocks and stuff"  
  
The minute Ryan mentioned 'boyfriend back in Ottawa,' Ryan noticed how Sam tensed up and almost protectively brought her arms around herself, almost as if she was shielding herself from something. Sam then took a deep breath and told Ryan,  
  
"I did have a boyfriend back in Ottawa. But unfortunately, he decided that I wasn't good enough and cheated on me with some skank. He broke more than just my heart that day, he took it with him. I lost every sense of trust when I caught him cheating and it wasn't just with a random girl, it was with one of my closest friends. I didn't just lose my boyfriend that day, I lost my best friend too. I couldn't believe that she would do such a thing. And him, I thought he loved me. I gave everything to him. Everything. And what did he do? Take my heart and break it into a million pieces to the point where I don't know if it'll ever be healed..." Sam trailed off, a pained expression gracing her normally beaming face, but after a short silence, she chuckled a bit and said,  
  
"I guess we've both had some relationships in the past we'd like to forget, huh? So anyways, enough of that, race you back to the car!"  
  
Ryan looked at her retreating figure and knew that there was much more than meets the eye when it came to Sam. He knew that she held a secret hurt deeper than what she had told him. But he knew that right now, he couldn't be Sam's boyfriend or even think about that. He needed to be her friend.  
  
Review! 


	5. Meeting the Donahue's

A/n: don't owe anything  
  
Read and review!  
  
Chapter 5 – Meeting the Donahue's  
  
Even though Sam had a head start racing towards the Rover, Ryan quickly caught up and was soon running beside her. Sam looked over at Ryan and smiled, almost as if she was silently thanking him for listening. Ryan acknowledged her smile with a small grin of his own. As they reached the Rover, Ryan went to the passenger side and very courteously held the door open for Sam as she got in. For the first little while, they sat in silence, both thinking about what the other had said about their past relationships. Both of them trying to think of what to say next. Finally, it was Sam who broke the silence, asking Ryan,  
  
"Hey Ryan, you know I was just thinking, well, I was wondering whether or not you'd like to have dinner with my family sometimes. I mean my mom's been pestering me about bringing over some of my friends so that she can meet them and stuff, and well, seeing as how you're like one of my only friends, I was wondering do you want to come over tomorrow night for dinner?"  
  
Ryan couldn't help but noticed how she seemed to get nervous while asking him to come over for dinner. He also made note of how cute she seemed when she was nervous and rambling. So of course, in regards to her question, Ryan answered,  
  
"Yeah, of course. I mean I was planning on going home and making my specialty dinner, which has been sought after by world-renowned cooks. Even Wolfgang Puck himself has written and begged me to share my secret..."  
  
"Oh, I'm sure. And what would this specialty dinner consist of?" Sam couldn't help but ask.  
  
Grinning from ear to ear Ryan replied,  
  
"Why, my grilled cheese sandwich of course. I mean everyone knows that it's my specialty. Wolfgang Puck is insanely jealous that even he can't get his cheese to taste as good as mine. I mean he's sent me hate mail and everything. The last one said 'Give me your grilled cheese recipe, or else you'll be the one I grill next.' I mean I don't know exactly what if meant, but I can tell you one thing. You are one lucky lady if you ever get to taste the much sought after sandwich made by yours truly."  
  
Sam couldn't but help but giggle at Ryan's futile attempt to convince her that Wolfgang Puck was actually after his recipe for grilled cheese sandwiches. Sam's laughter was like music to Ryan's ears. He was so glad that he was able to put a smile on her face and they joked back and forth while Ryan drove them both back to her place. Sam gave him directions to her house and while driving Sam couldn't help but notice Ryan's taste of music was very similar to hers. And while listening to Rooney's Sh Sh Shake It Sam said,  
  
"I love this song!"  
  
Ryan looked over and said,  
  
"Yea, they're pretty good. I mean we went to one of their concerts and well, let's just say Luke is a big fan of "Sh Sh Shake It." you've met Luke right? The guy who sort of hangs out with us, he's on the soccer team. I mean when I first came here he was a jerk because he thought he was like the shit and stuff. But stuff happened, and now he's a pretty good friend. One that I know I can count on to have my back in any situation."  
  
Sam looked over and said,  
  
"He seems nice, but I haven't really had a chance to talk to him yet. I mean, in all honesty, the only person I've talked to. I mean I tried to talk to this girl but she just looked at me and left off in a huff. I still really miss Ottawa, I mean Newport's nice but I don't know, it just doesn't feel like home to me. I still feel like I'm the outsider knocking on the door to be let in, but there's no one on the other side to let me in. Everyone's life here is so regimented and so predictable and I feel like I'll never be let into Newport society because I'll destroy the perfect balance they seem to have."  
  
Ryan couldn't help but relate to Sam's situation and not known as a man for words, Ryan said to her (in arguably the longest speech of his life),  
  
"I know what you mean. I mean I haven't told you yet, but as you've probably realized I'm not actually the Cohen's son. I mean they consider me their son, which I'm flattered by, but I know that I'm not biologically their son. I'm their adopted son. Sandy found me in Juvie because my brother, Trey, had stolen a car and I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The Cohen's took me in and I felt so out of place. I mean everyone here had everything I never had in Chino. At the first party I went to, Luke and his friends were picking on Seth, so I hit Luke and well from that moment on I was known as "the kid from Chino who starts fights. And then I met Marissa. I told her from the start that we couldn't be together because we were from two different worlds, which we were. She lived in high Newport society. I was the rug-rat from Chino who got picked up by a self-righteous lawyer. Stuff happened and before I knew it, I was officially part of Newport society. I was trained to belong. I know in my heart that I still don't, but at least on the outside it seems to everyone else I'm just like the next rich kid from Newport whose spoiled beyond imagination. The equilibrium this tight community has was broken the minute I entered and in I still don't think they've recovered. Sometimes I wish I had never come here. Then everything would have been normal."  
  
"Normal?" asked Sam. "How could it have been normal if I hadn't met you? Ryan, you're like my only friend here. I mean I cannot imagine what my life in Newport would be like right now if I didn't have you there to just talk to. I've never had a friend like you. Someone who rarely talks, but when they do finally talk, they speak words from their heart. Ryan, you didn't mess up Newport. You just revealed it to them. Newport was messed up way before you got here. They only realized it when someone with an actual life came in and showed them how screwed up they all were. And plus, if you hadn't come to Newport, think of where Seth would be. I don't know him very well, but I know he considers you his best friend in the world."  
  
Ryan drove on, but he carefully listened to every single word that Sam had said and couldn't help but admit that she was once again right. He didn't screw up Newport. Newport had screwed itself over many years before his arrival. They had all lived in this bubble of pretense and finally when someone came in, the bubble popped and now everyone's true identity and true intentions were revealed for the community to see. Ryan pulled up to her house and couldn't help but notice how gorgeous the place was. Ryan always had an eye for architecture, as Kirsten had previously discovered and as he dropped her off, she said,  
  
"Thanks for the ride Ryan, and thanks for being a friend. See ya tomorrow!"  
  
Ryan watched her as she went inside and couldn't help but marvel at his luck of meeting such a great girl. He drove home and did something he hadn't done for a long time. Smile. For real.  
  
~~~  
  
The next day – 6:30pm – Inside the pool house  
  
As Seth enters the pool house, he sees Ryan running almost frantically around searching for something. So Seth couldn't help but ask,  
  
"Hey, man. Looking for something?"  
  
Ryan looked up, realizing for the first time that Seth was in the pool house and answered in a typical one-word answer of,  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Any hint on what that might be? So you know I could tell you if I've seen it or help you? Except I really don't want to help because I'm sort of feeling like I'm 'not in the mood for looking for stuff' right now. But seriously man, what are you looking for?" asked Seth.  
  
"I'm looking for my cell. I mean I had it here a minute ago and all of a sudden it's like gone. And I'm going to need it just in case Sam calls with any last minute details of tonight's dinner with –" Ryan started to say but was interrupted by Seth.  
  
"– Dinner? Where? You're going to her house for dinner? Is this like the meet the parents sort of dinner so that they can grill you about whether or not your intentions with their daughter is good? Wait, so does that mean you guys are officially going out now? Hey, what's that I see? A small smile just appeared, man. Just when I said that the two of you were going on. How do you plan on telling Marissa? I mean, I'll bet that'll be an awkward conversation? Hey man, by the way, a word of advice for meeting the parents for the first time, really not a good idea to ramble. Take it from me man. I mean I had lunch with Summer and her dad and things did not go well. I mean according to Summer I "wasn't what he expected," so dude, just play the silent strong type. Sort of like you are right now. Wow, I do tend to talk a lot when I'm nervous...actually just in general. I just talk a lot."  
  
Ryan stared at Seth while he kept rambling on needlessly about how Ryan was the one who shouldn't ramble. Ryan couldn't help but smile when Seth mentioned the part about Sam being his girlfriend, but he knew that right now they were just friends and he'd have to be content with that. And to Seth he said,  
  
"We're not going out. I'm just going to go and meet her parents. I mean her mom just wanted to see what her friends are like and stuff. And her dad probably won't care if I ramble needlessly seeing as how he probably won't be grilling me about my intentions with his daughter seeing as how we're only friends. So if you excuse me, I'm going to go now before any one else grills me about my whereabouts for tonight. Later man."  
  
"Come back with details! I'll expect no less." Seth yelled at Ryan as Ryan left the pool house.  
  
Ryan waved and went to the Rover humming to himself. As Ryan drove, he couldn't help but notice that at every red light, he was getting more impatient and nervous. Ryan thought to himself how odd it was that he was able to stand up to a whole bunch of Newport jocks but the thought of going over to a girls' house for dinner was making him nervous. And as he drove up Sam's driveway, the butterflies intensified and he could barely contain himself from shaking from nervousness. He rang the doorbell and waited for a while. He was definitely surprised when an adorable young girl no older than ten answered the door. She looked up at him with big wide eyes and asked him,  
  
"Hi. I'm Rachelle. Who are you?"  
  
Just as Ryan was about to answer, Sam came down the stairs and said,  
  
"Hey Ryan. Glad you could make it. I see you've already met Rachelle. She's my younger sister, she's seven and she's going to go help Minnie (their maid/cook) in the kitchen now." Sam hinted at her younger sister, who obviously didn't get the hint and instead whined,  
  
"But I don't want to help. I want to talk to Ryan."  
  
"Rachelle. Minnie needs your help. Go." Sam stated a bit more firmly.  
  
Rachelle finally gave in but not before pouting at both of them showing both Sam and Ryan just how upset she was that she was being forced to go away from the two of them.  
  
Sam looked at Ryan and said,  
  
"Sorry about my sister."  
  
Ryan immediately said,  
  
"No, no. Don't apologize. Rachelle seems like a nice girl and everything. I mean she has to be pretty cool, I mean she has a pretty cool big sister to look up to. Oh, and hey, I come bringing flowers for the ladies and red wine, courtesy of Sandy Cohen for your father."  
  
Sam blushed upon hearing his comment and quickly looked away, desperately trying to think of another topic to talk on. She graciously accepted the beautiful flowers and then asked him,  
  
"So, do you want to go and meet my parents? I mean my mom's been talking all day about how excited she is that she's finally going to meet you. I'd like to apologize ahead of time for anything embarrassing that they might do. If it scars you for life then I take full responsibility and I promise never to bring you here again."  
  
Ryan chuckled nervously, and followed Sam towards the Living Room where both Mr. and Mrs. Donahue were comfortably seated eagerly awaiting the arrival of their daughter's friend. Sam then introduced her parents to Ryan saying,  
  
"Mom. Dad. This is Ryan Atwood. Ryan, these are my parents."  
  
"Very pleased to meet you Mr. and Mrs. Donahue." Ryan politely offered.  
  
"It's our pleasure to finally meet a friend of Sam's. I'm Peter and this is my beautiful wife, Susan. Please call us Peter and Susan. And know that any friend of Sam's is more than welcome at our home at any time." Sam's dad said.  
  
"That's very nice of you to offer Mr. Donahue. And if you and Mrs. Donahue don't mind I'd rather call you Mr. and Mrs. Donahue, just out of respect. It's something I've been taught, so I hope that's not a problem." Ryan said.  
  
"No, of course not dear," Mrs. Donahue assured him. "Whatever you're comfortable with calling us is fine by both of us. So come on, let's go to dinner. Minnie's prepared a wonderful dinner for us all."  
  
By the time they got to the Dining Room, Rachelle was already there eagerly awaiting the arrivals of the "adults." During dinner, the Donahue's asked Ryan the normal questions, such as how he was doing in school, whether or not he knew what he wanted to pursue in life, and his friendship with Sam. Ryan chatted candidly with the Donahue's even taking time to talk with Rachelle. Rachelle seemed to take an instant liking to Ryan, as he talked to her as if she was an equal and not some stupid seven-year-old girl who needed to have everything said slowly in order for her to understand. She then asked Ryan a question Sam had dreaded for most of the night,  
  
"Are you Sam's boyfriend?" Rachelle asked him honestly.  
  
Upon hearing her younger sister's question, Sam choked on her drink clearly embarrassed. However, Sam's parents were just as eager to hear Ryan's response and unbeknownst to Ryan, Sam was just as keen to hear his response. Ryan, feeling the pressure, deliberated about his answer before finally saying,  
  
"Right now, I think me and Sam are just friends. I mean I consider her one of my best friends and I'm just glad that I've been blessed with someone as special as your big sister in my life."  
  
Rachelle seemed to accept that answer and following dessert, while Sam helped her parents clear away the dishes, Rachelle dragged Ryan off into the living room. She told Ryan to sit down on their couch and Ryan obeyed. She then left the room for a while and returned with her teddy-bear and a book. She clambered onto his lap and asked him shyly,  
  
"Ryan? Will you read to me?"  
  
Ryan looked at the adorable seven year old in his lap and couldn't help but completely adore this young girl. Of course he would read to her. She didn't even need to ask. So Rachelle got comfortable in Ryan's lap, while he read her favorite story of, "Poinsettia Pig and the Firefighters." Rachelle soon rested her head against the crook of Ryan's neck and carefully hung onto his every word as he read her the story. Just as Ryan was about to finish, Sam came into the living room and upon seeing Ryan and Rachelle, she felt her heart melt at his kindness towards her younger sister. She didn't want to ruin the Polaroid moment of Rachelle comfortably resting in Ryan's arms while he read to her. And when Ryan finished, Rachelle thanked him and then said,  
  
"Ryan, I'll bet you could be a firefighter. I mean firefighters have to be big and strong so they can save people from fires right?"  
  
Ryan looked at this girl he had already grown to adore and answered,  
  
"Well, if a firefighter has to be big and strong, then I guess I'm perfect for the job. Here, grab a hold of my arm, and I'll lift you up."  
  
Rachelle looked at him with excitement and grabbed hold of his left bicep and laughed and giggled as Ryan lifted her up easily up and down. Sam couldn't help but giggle at this adorable sight. Was this really the same Ryan Atwood who started fights and beat up people? How could he be the same person if here he was being so gentle and caring with her younger sister? Ryan and Rachelle noticed her giggling and Ryan walked over to Sam with Rachelle still clinging onto his arm. It was nearing 9 p.m. and well, it was getting relatively late for Rachelle and both Ryan and Sam noticed Rachelle yawning. Sam asked Rachelle,  
  
"Looks like someone's about ready for bedtime wouldn't you think kiddo?"  
  
"I'm not tired. I want to talk to Ryan still." Rachelle insisted.  
  
Ryan couldn't help but be flattered by how attached this young girl was to him already and whispered into her ear,  
  
"Well, I think its time for you to go to bed, but don't worry about fires or anything, because this firefighter will come and rescue you from anything, okay? And we'll talk more later on when you're not as tired. I promise."  
  
Rachelle looked satisfied with her answer and before leaving, held her arms out for a hug, which Ryan readily gave her, and she surprised everyone by giving Ryan a kiss on the cheek and saying to him,  
  
"Thanks for being my sister's friend Ryan."  
  
Ryan looked at this small girl and couldn't help but grin from ear to ear. He never thought he could care so much about someone who he had just met. But from that moment on, he knew that he would do anything to protect this little girl and her big sister and make sure that no harm would ever come to them. And as they both watched Rachelle go upstairs to ready herself for bed, Ryan said,  
  
"Goodnight Rachelle. Sweet dreams."  
  
Sam watched Ryan bonding with her younger sister and couldn't help but be proud of Ryan for being so kind to Rachelle. He really was a special guy and she was definitely very lucky to have him in her life. Sam and Ryan hung out downstairs for a few more hours, before Ryan got up to get ready to get back home. It was nearing midnight and Ryan knew the Cohen's were expecting him back soon. Sam walked him to the door and Ryan thanked Sam for a great evening and just before leaving Sam gave Ryan a quick peck on the cheek and thanked him for coming over. Ryan, still shocked by the kiss managed to stutter out,  
  
"Welcome your me. I mean, you're welcome."  
  
Ryan went to the car and couldn't help but smile, as he thought of how lucky he was to have two such wonderful girls in his life. And as his car left her driveway, Sam said to herself,  
  
"I know Rachelle already said this, but thank you Ryan Atwood for coming into my life."  
  
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	6. More Than Just Best Friends?

A/n: don't owe anything, sorry for the long wait, been busy.  
  
Read and review!  
  
Chapter 6 – More Than Just Best Friends?  
  
Saturday morning – The day after dinner with the Donahue's  
  
Ryan woke up at 8:00am smiling to himself as he remembered the previous night. How smoothly everything had gone and how he had met the adorable Rachelle and the best part of the night was hanging out with Sam afterwards. He had been debating for quite some time whether he really liked Sam or whether he was just looking for a rebound to Marissa. And last night, he had come to the conclusion that he did care about Sam. Not because he was looking for healing, but because he adored everything about her. How cute she was when she smiled. How her laugh was the sweetest sound to his ears. How she was always able to put a smile on her face...  
  
I wanted so badly to tell Sam that he wanted to be more than just friends, but doubt lingered in my mind. What if she wasn't ready for another relationship? What if she doesn't feel the same way? What if she thinks that I'm only on the rebound from Marissa? What if she gets completely freaked out by my confession and it consequently screws up our friendship? But then, another realization hit me. What if I don't tell her how I feel and some other guy gets her instead? How am I going to deal with her being with another guy? I have to tell her. I can't. But I have to. I should. I will. Won't I? Now would be one of the few times I wish I had someone like Captain Oats to confide in...  
  
Ryan paced around his room trying to come to an answer for a good fifteen minutes. After careful deliberation, he finally decided that he would tell Sam. He couldn't take that risk of losing her to some other guy. Especially not some jerk like Brad. Just as he had made his decision, his cell rang. He picked it up, noticed the caller ID said Sam, and couldn't help but be happy that she was calling. He picked up, asking,  
  
"Hey Sam. How are ya?"  
  
"Holy Ryan. I keep forgetting there's Caller ID on everything now. It's just a bit freaky when you answer your cell like that. I mean seriously, for all I know you could have been like stalking me or something. Not that I would know what it's like to be stalked, but you get my point. Anyways, I was just wondering if you wanted to hang out today. I mean my parents are out and my sister's over at a friends, so I'm stuck with nothing to do. So you wanna go to the beach or catch a movie?"  
  
"Sure. I'll pick you up in about fifteen and then we'll go out for lunch?" Ryan asked.  
  
"Sounds good to me. See ya in a bit," Sam replied.  
  
Twenty minutes later, Ryan pulled up in Sam' driveway. He went up to her doorway and rang the bell, eagerly awaiting her arrival. Minnie opened the door and said,  
  
"Good morning Mr. Atwood, Miss Donahue will be with you shortly. Would you like something to drink? I can fix you something if you would like."  
  
"Thank you very much Minnie, but I think I'm fine. And I'm sure that Sam –" Ryan trailed off as Sam came down the stairs. Ryan's mouth dropped open as he saw what she wearing. She had on a cute light pink sundress that showed off her gorgeous legs and Ryan couldn't help but stare. Sam noticed this and couldn't help but smile as she saw the look on his face. She walked right by him, used her hand to push his jaw back up and said with a smile on her face,  
  
"Might wanna close up that mouth of yours Atwood. Keep it open any longer and drool will start dripping on the floor and Minnie would not be pleased."  
  
And with that, she sauntered out towards the car, leaving a speechless Ryan staring at her back. He quickly regained his senses, and went after her. Jumping into the drivers side he asked,  
  
"So, where does the lady wish to have lunch?"  
  
"Do you know any place that has good pasta? I'm suddenly feeling very Italian." Sam said.  
  
"Well, there's this place near the movie theatre, I think it's called "Mama Maria," and according to Seth, the food there does justice to Italian food. So that'd probably be our best bet."  
  
En route to Mama Maria, Sam couldn't help but notice how cute Ryan was. It wasn't like she hadn't noticed this before, she always knew he was a very good-looking guy, it's just now, it was...different. Sam didn't know exactly how to put the proper words together to describe her feelings for Ryan. She was definitely in awe of him, she could tell that he had been through a lot, but for him to be so caring, even after his mother left him, that was nothing short of amazing.  
  
Sam wasn't the only one doing the thinking on the drive to Mama Maria. Ryan was also wondering about the best way to tell Sam that he wanted to be more than friends. But at the same time, that little voice in the back of his head kept saying, "What if she doesn't want to be more than friends?" "What if I freak her out with my confession?" "What if I lose my friendship for Sam all because I can't control my feelings?" These confused thoughts soon began to hang over Ryan.  
  
Sam noticed a slight change in Ryan's demeanor, from openly happy when he picked her up, and now he had a much more serious look on his face. Sam wondered what could have caused the seemingly sudden change in his appearance. She hoped that it wasn't her presence that had caused him to become increasingly...well, she didn't exactly know how to put it. His face had a look of intense concentration, like he was thinking really hard or something. Sam couldn't stand the silence any longer so she decided to ask Ryan,  
  
"Hey, you mind if I turn on the radio?"  
  
Ryan looked over and quickly nodded saying,  
  
"Sure, whatever station you want to listen to is fine."  
  
Sam flipped around a few stations, until she landed on one of her favorites, 96.7FM. Just as the DJ was announcing,  
  
"And now, ladies and gents, we don't normally play pop songs, especially not pop songs by old-long forgotten boy-bands, but we've had a special request put in, so next up, 'Girlfriend' by NSYNC."  
  
Ryan groaned in dismay as he heard the song being announced and Sam laughed at the sight saying,  
  
"Hey now, no bad things about NSYNC, I used to love them when they were the 'IT' band. I mean, JC? Rawrrr. Those baby blues of his, a girl can get lost in them. And Justin? I'd love to run my hands through those curls of his any day. Just tell me when and where and I'll be there."  
  
Ryan looked at her slightly frightened for the two guys she talked about just then, but at the same time slightly amused that she'd be so open about her weird crush on these two guys. He made a mental note to look up them up on the Internet and see just what he was competing against. He had seen the guys from NSYNC on a few posters but he had never paid much attention. But after a bit he laughed at her and said,  
  
"Wow, you're quite, well, open about who you want to dig your claws into now aren't we? But I have to say, nobody has more gorgeous eyes than Jennifer Aniston. I mean, normally I prefer green eyes, but good God, that woman has nice eyes."  
  
Sam heard this and was a bit disheartened that Ryan seemed to like green eyes best. She thought about her not so unique plain brown eyes and couldn't help but be a bit disappointed. Neither of them said another word as they listened to the song playing softly in the background.  
  
Girlfriend  
  
I don't know why you care  
  
He doesn't even know you're there  
  
'Cause he don't love your eyes  
  
And he don't love your smile  
  
Girl, you know that ain't fair  
  
The middle of the night, is he gonna be by your side  
  
Or will he run and hide  
  
You don't know, 'cause things ain't clear  
  
And baby when you cry, is he gonna stand by your side  
  
Does the man even know you're alive  
  
I got an idea...  
  
Why don't you be my girlfriend  
  
I'll treat you good  
  
I know you hear your friends when they say you should  
  
'Cause if you were my girlfriend, I'd be your shining star  
  
The one to show you where you are  
  
Girl you should be my girlfriend  
  
Does he know what you feel  
  
Are you sure that it's real  
  
Does he ease your mind  
  
Or does he break your stride  
  
Did you know that love could be a shield  
  
The middle of the night, is he gonna be by your side  
  
Or will he run and hide  
  
You don't know, 'cause things ain't clear  
  
And baby when you cry, is he gonna stand by your side  
  
Does the man even know you're alive  
  
I got an idea...  
  
Why don't you be my girlfriend  
  
I'll treat you good  
  
I know you hear your friends when they say you should  
  
'Cause if you were my girlfriend, I'd be your shining star  
  
The one to show you where you are  
  
Girl you should be my girlfriend  
  
Ever since I saw your face, nothing in my life has been the same  
  
I walk around just saying your name  
  
Without you my world would end  
  
I looked around this whole damn place and everything says you were meant to be  
  
My girlfriend  
  
Why don't you be my girlfriend  
  
I'll treat you good  
  
I know you hear your friends when they say you should  
  
'Cause if you were my girlfriend, I'd be your shining star  
  
The one to show you where you are  
  
Girl you should be my girlfriend  
  
---  
  
All throughout the song Sam kept thinking to herself - if only Ryan asked me to be his girlfriend, then everything in Orange County would be perfect. But at the same time as soon as that thought came to her mind, she chastised herself, reminding herself not to get her hopes up, as he only thought of her as a friend. - Get a hold of yourself Sam; don't let a guy get you all messed up. He's just a friend. He doesn't want you for his girlfriend, or else he would have already asked you out. I mean come on; you've known him for how long? Exactly. Oh my God, I'm talking to myself. Well, thinking-talking. Okay, snap out of it. He doesn't want you as his girlfriend. - But as she came to her conclusion, she couldn't help but feel saddened at the thought that her and Ryan would never be more than friends.  
  
Meanwhile, Ryan too, despite his initial dismay at hearing a boy band song, was listening to the lyrics of the song and couldn't help but ask, well Sam, that's what I want to ask you...to be my girlfriend. But as he looked over to her seat, she seemed to have this crestfallen look on her face and he once again worried himself with the possibilities of what her facial expression meant. Maybe she's still not over her ex-boyfriend from Ottawa. Maybe this song somehow reminds her of him. Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to ask her if she wants to be more than friends. Damn it, if only NSYNC could ask Sam to be my girlfriend instead of me. Ryan finally pulled up to Mama Maria's and told Sam,  
  
"Well, we're here, Mama Maria, so if the lady wishes, shall we go inside and have some lunch?"  
  
Ryan's question shook Sam out of her dazed mood, and she blinked around trying to remember where she was and then realized they were there. Ryan looked over with a concerned look on his face, and asked,  
  
"Sam? Sam? You okay, Sam?"  
  
Sam looked over at him and quickly replied,  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine Ryan, just doing some thinking."  
  
"Sam Donahue, you think? Well, if I live and breathe..." Ryan joked at her.  
  
Sam looked over, gave his shoulder a push for good measure and said,  
  
"Hey, watch it buddy, you know I think. More than you anyways."  
  
Ryan looked at her while pretending to be heavily offended and said, "Gasp I don't think? I am so hurt. Now I don't think I can take you out for lunch. My feelings have just been hurt so badly. Nope, no can do."  
  
Sam giggled and said,  
  
"Oh whatever, now let's go to lunch, I'm starved."  
  
"As the lady wishes," Ryan quipped back.  
  
As they entered the restaurant, they noticed how homey it was. It was a small place, but a very intimate place. Ryan could see why Seth had raved about this place. It looked almost as if they were in Italy, complete with all the décor. When the waiter asked them how many people, Ryan replied two and they were lead into a very nice and private room. Ryan, always the gentleman, held out the chair and waited for Sam to sit down. Sam sat down, and looked around the place in a silent awe. It was such a beautiful small place, and she couldn't get over how great Ryan looked today. They ordered something to eat, and during the course of their meal Ryan and Sam flirted back and forth. At one time, Sam even fed Ryan some of her spaghetti. And for dessert, they shared a chocolate éclair and all the while, Sam kept thinking to herself, he's just a friend, he's too good a friend to lose just because I can't control my hormones.  
  
After they finished a most delightful lunch, they decided to go for a walk by the beach which was adjacent to their restaurant (hey, it's California, there are beaches EVERYWHERE). While they were walking, Ryan kept thinking, it's now or never. I'm going to have to ask her. I can't keep torturing myself over this. And mustering up all his courage, he began,  
  
"Sam, we need to talk..."  
  
Review!! 


	7. The Beach

A/n: don't owe anything.

Read and review! Remember, the more reviews I get the more compelled I feel to update! (Not that I'm bribing you or anything…)

Chapter 7 – The Beach 

"Sam, we need to talk…"

-

Sam turned around to look at Ryan fidgeting, noticing his obvious nervousness, she herself got a little bit anxious. A million thoughts began to run through her mind about what Ryan was possibly going to say. She tried to calm herself by telling herself that maybe he just wanted to talk about the very…nice weather they were having. Or maybe it was about something in school. Homework? A test? But even as she was thinking these thoughts, she couldn't help but think that this was to be a much bigger revelation, like he was going to tell her he liked another girl. Or even worse, that he already had a girlfriend. Despite all these thoughts running through her head, she tried, as calmly as she could, she managed to say,

"So, what's up, Ryan?"

Ryan looked over at Sam, and he decided that it was now that he would tell her, so he took a deep breath and began what was to be one of the hardest talks of his life (relationship-wise, that is)…

"Sam, I don't really know how to start this. I'm not really good with words most of the time and frankly, I'm not made out to be a speaker. I mean, whenever we have to give speeches in English, I kind of freak out and just mumble everything as quickly as I can while staring at my feet…much like I'm doing right now. Oh my God, I'm rambling. I sound like Seth. I can't believe I sound like…"

Sam stared wide-eyed at Ryan while he was rambling wondering what could possibly be going through his mind that would make him, in his own words, 'sound like Seth.' She couldn't help but interject and say,

"Ryan? You okay? Deep breath now. In. Out. In. Out. Nice and slowly. That's it. Good job Ryan! Now, what were you trying to tell me?"

Ryan looked at her and couldn't help but be completely taken by her beauty. Ryan knew he couldn't tell her immediately or he'd stutter again, so instead, he tried to play it coy, and delay it just a bit before revealing his true feelings to her. He stalled by asking her,

"So what do you look for in a guy, Sam? I don't think we've ever talked about this before."

Sam was slightly shocked by the randomness of the question, and proceeded to actually think about what she was going to say in response to Ryan,

"Well, I mean first off, he has to be gorgeous. I mean, seriously, what's the point of having a hideous boyfriend? You're going to have to look at him pretty much for quite some time so he might as well be good-looking. Something that I should probably get a real jock, such as Brad, to come and teach you about, you know looks-wise he could give you a few pointers. I mean he could teach you how to do your hair properly and how to shave properly, and maybe even give you a couple of pointers regarding body-building…"

Sam smiled to herself and had to try her hardest to suppress a giggle when she saw the shocked look gracing Ryan's features. She knew that this would get to Ryan and couldn't help but try and push his buttons just a little bit to get him annoyed.

Ryan just stood in absolute shock of what she had just said, but when he saw the corners of her mouth upturn in a smile, he immediately knew she had been joking and ran to her side saying,

"That. Was. SOOOO. Not. Funny. And I think I know just the way to get my revenge…"

No sooner had those words left his mouth Ryan began tickling Sam. Sam tried desperately to get away while giggling non-stop. She was super ticklish and it almost seemed as if Ryan knew where to tickle her to make her go absolutely crazy. She started trying to squirm away from his grasps, but every time she got a bit of distance, he'd manage to close it up and continue his onslaught.

While Sam laughed, her laughter was like music to Ryan's ears. It was sweet and melodious, something he could never get enough of. And he couldn't help but continue making her laugh.

Sam struggled in vain to get away, and without warning, she tripped over a log just sitting on the beach and before she knew it, Ryan was on top of her. His piercing blue eyes only a few inches away from her face. She noticed his chiseled features, his gorgeous crystal blue eyes, his long eyelashes, his lips…oh those lips, she imagined how he could make her feel with those lips and suddenly, almost semi-consciously she licked her lips.

Ryan stared at the beautiful woman underneath him and couldn't help but be mesmerized by her stunning features. He looked at her and he could have sworn that he saw her licking her lips. He wanted so badly to just lower down and kiss her but as soon as he thought of that, he quickly pushed that thought aside and finally realized the awkwardness of the situation and got off her quickly, saying,

"Sorry, that kind of got out of hand,"

Sam could only stare in disbelief that the moment had ended as quickly as it had begun. She couldn't help but be disappointed that he still thought of her only as a friend. But then she thought to herself, why would he want me as his girlfriend? I mean, I'll never be as pretty or beautiful as some of those girls at school. I don't have perfect hair, perfect skin. I'm just me. Regular old Sam Donahue.

As Sam and Ryan both begrudgingly got up and brushed the sand off their clothes, almost as if it was planned, Brad seemingly came out of nowhere and called out,

"Sam! How's it going? Didn't think I'd find you hanging out here…oh, hey Ryan."

To which Sam politely replied,

"Hey Brad! How are you?"

"Hey gorgeous. Listen, the boys and me are having a party tonight down by Nate's beach house. His parents are out of town, so we figure we'd put the facilities to good use. There'll be a kegger and open bar of course. Come at around 11, oh, and if you have any, bring a few to blaze. It always helps make a party more interesting. So, you interested in coming? It'll be awesome if you come."

Sam looked at Brad and for the first time noticed that Brad was actually a pretty good-looking guy. I mean he definitely didn't have some of the attributes that Ryan had been blessed with, but I mean the whole thing with Ryan really wasn't going anywhere, so…so she said in response,

"Well…."

Brad gave her a pleading call,

"Come on Sam, you know it won't be a party without you there."

And with that line it was settled, Sam replied,

"Yeah, sure, why not. It's not as if I have something better to do."

With an almost smug smile, Brad replied,

"Great, I'll look for you. Oh, and hey, Ryan, you're welcome to come too. I mean if you want."

And then in a whisper as he passed by Ryan,

"Unless you need to go back to Chino to where, I don't know, where you belong. Oh, and your little friend there, she's fair game and soon, she'll be mine. She's quite a bit better than most of the girls around here, huh? And I'll bet she's even better in bed."

Then, Brad went off as if nothing had happened and waved with a charming smile to Sam. Ryan was furious and wanted nothing more to attack Brad and beat the living shit out of him, but knew that it probably wasn't a good idea especially considering Sam was in the vicinity. Instead he dejectedly walked over to Sam and asked her if she was planning to go the party that night. She instantly replied,

"Of course! I mean Brad Davis just asked me to go a party with him. He's like one of the coolest guys in the whole school! So of course I'm gonna go tonight. How about you Ryan? Planning to make an appearance?"

Ryan cringed at the palpable excitement in her voice and defeated, he replied,

"Yeah, I might drop by for a bit. Maybe I'll bring Seth along or something."

Sam, oblivious to Ryan's disappointment that she would be so eager to go to Brad's party asked cheerfully,

"Ryan?"

"Yeah?"

"Would it be okay if you took me home now? I wanted to get ready for the party. And maybe call up Carly to see if she can come over and help me pick out an outfit or something. She seems to be way more into this kind of stuff than I am. And after all, I do want to look good tonight for Brad. I mean, I want to look good tonight in general."

It was like little knives poking simultaneously at what was left of Ryan's heart. She wanted to look good for **_Brad_. _For Brad_**. Those had been her words. Not to look good for Ryan. But for _**Brad**_. Ryan stared fiercely at the ocean, trying desperately to calm himself and ease his torment. And with that, he mustered a faint smile and said as calmly as he could,

"Sure, let's head out of here then."

When they started the long, silent, and undoubtedly awkward drive home, Sam thought joyfully about Brad and realized that maybe she'd be best to take her chances with him rather than Ryan. Ryan didn't seem to be very interested in her and if he was well then he was certainly very good at hiding it from her. Now Brad, there was a guy who made it pretty clear that he was into her. Brad was like the day, bright and open, with a smile on his face every time he saw her. Ryan was much more like the night, dark, private and he constantly seemed to be brooding. And albeit, the brooding was quite sexy at times, it also made Sam wonder what he was thinking of. Was he thinking of her? Or…what if he was thinking of…Marissa? She brushed those thoughts from her head and instead her thoughts drifted back to Brad. He was the type of guy most girls would die to go out with. He had stunning green eyes, and to complete the duo a smile that could melt any girl's heart. He was the type of guy a young girl imagined up to be her knight in shining armor, her prince. The fairy-tale prince that could take away the breath of every girl he ever encountered. He was the type of guy most girls loved the same way they loved their coffee: tall, dark and rich. And maybe the type of guy she should be going out with soon.

As she looked out the window at the disappearing beach, she was completely oblivious to Ryan's mood. She never noticed that he was even more silent than he normally was…if that was at possible. He didn't notice how every so often he'd sneak a look at her and then when he saw her smile he couldn't help but be sad. Not sad that she was happy of course, but sad that she was happy and it had nothing to do with him. They soon arrived at Sam's house and Ryan instead of their normal joke at the end of the ride just sat in silence as she proceeded to get out of the car. Sam, still grinning from ear to ear at the possibility that tonight she'd get to go to Brad Davis' party said,

"Bye Ryan! See you tonight!"

To which Ryan merely grunted and sped out of her driveway without once looking back. After all, if he looked back, he would merely be looking at something he had but once again, he lost. Same old story. Just like with Marissa. He had her too, but then again, he somehow managed to mess it up. Ryan drove home and was greeted by a very enthusiastic Seth who said,

"Ryan! Good man you're home. Now we can get ready for a night out with the ladies. Summer just called and she told us there's going to be a beach party tonight and well, we're all invited. It's almost 6 now, so get ready because the girls want us to pick them up at 9, go out for a quick bite and head on over to the party around 10ish…."

Ryan was absentmindedly listening to Seth, but he picked up that he used the plural form of girl…meaning there was going to be more than just Summer to pick up, and he asked, well, more like demanded,

"Wait, girls? What? Seth? Aren't we just picking up Summer? Who else is coming?"

Seth desperately tried to nonchalantly say,

"CoughMarissaCough. But hey man, best to be getting ready now hey? Wouldn't want you dressed like that? After all, you never know, maybe Sam will be there and you guys will hook up or something. Anyways, I've got to be going and taming this Jew-fro that Summer loves so much. See you in a few Ryan."

And as Seth was leaving the room, Ryan grabbed his arm and asked,

"Marissa's coming? Why is Marissa coming?"

Seth, surprised that his effort at covering up the fact that Marissa was coming said,

"Gee, Ryan. I don't know. Maybe it's because Summer and Marissa have been best friends since the first grade? But anyways, that's not important. I'm sure Sam will be there and Marissa is just coming with us because Summer's afraid she'll you know…Glug glug glug…and I don't mean water."

Ryan, defeated, left to go the pool house to get ready. And he knew it was going to be a very long night…

-

So what's going to happen in the next Chapter? Will Ryan still get the girl at the party? And which girl will it be? And what about Sam? Does she want Ryan or has Brad caught her eye?

Read and Review!


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